February 2011
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I've actually had 13 responses to my ad so far.
Unfortunately, most of them have been 3-4 years younger than me, or I’ve judged them for some other reason after internet stalkage, or they have pets (which are not allowed), or they are “not interested in the nightlife.”
Maybe I’m just being ridiculously picky, but I guess I will continue to be that way until crunch time rolls around.
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Recent responses to my Craigslist ad for a...
Girl with a 3 lb bunny
Girl who has pictures of herself on Facebook holding a real rifle and wearing a pirate hat, as well as self portraits of herself holding every type of food imaginable
Married woman who is “not interested in the nightlife”
January 2011
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We're about to throw my sister a wedding shower.
We’re having cake and punch and all that jazz, but I think I would rather this be a wedding TAILGATE.
We could play wedding cornhole, drink some 10 a.m. wedding beers, and all be taking naps by 2 p.m.
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Sandwich.
I just got to my grandma’s house and she is out running errands. I started browsing through her fridge for snacks and found a sandwich comprised of the following:
ham
turkey
bacon
swiss cheese
American cheese
lettuce
tomato
I want it sooo badly, but I feel like eating my grandma’s sandwich from her fridge would be a new low and I’d be condemned to hell for all eternity...
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I just had the most terrifying dream of my life.
It seemed to last for hours, so I won’t go into all the horrible details, but I will say that the end of the dream involved the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz flying in through the window of my car, refusing to get out, and taunting me in a very MEAN way.
I just knew there would be long-term psychological effects of watching Wizard of Oz every morning as a 2-year-old.
The university post office has a dropbox just for...
We’re so, so advanced and modern.
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So, I asked everyone for advice on what movie to...
And by “everyone” I mean my Facebook friends. People recommended TV shows, movies, and documentaries which would probably make me smarter and more well-rounded as a human being.
I went ahead and moved “Dawson’s Creek Season 1” to the top of my queue.
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But why isn't my death glare working?
Homegirl here in my Coffee Shop of Choice is using her computer, and it is making noises, and SHE DOES NOT HAVE HEADPHONES.
Every few seconds it is making a sound that reminds me a lot of the old AIM chat notification.
It is not ok.
I am giving her a constant death glare.
It is not working. She and her computer belong in the pits of hell.
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I just don't.
One of the first things I noticed upon moving to this mountain town is that NO ONE HERE USES UMBRELLAS.
I do not understand why.
I was walking down the main street in August when the sky opened up and dumped buckets and buckets of water down on all of us, and I was the ONLY ONE in sight carrying an umbrella. I wondered to myself if everyone else somehow forget theirs that day, but no! People...
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Party Planner
Mom: Check your schedule and let me know whats better, which day? what time? if your bringing friends?how many?what you want to eat??????XOXO
me: okay party planner
Mom: Oh I love that! I’m your party planner! :+) O O
Is this real life?
I just received an email from one of my professors from last semester (of my least favorite class ever). I was curious to see why she emailed me because I am not in her department and took her class as an elective.
She said she reviewed my grade, realized she forgot to add in 5 points, and I actually earned an A instead of B. She said she submitted a grade change request.
What?? Am I dreaming? I...
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So begins the roommate search
My roommate is moving out at the end of the summer. Being the generally anxious person that I am, I decided to start looking for a roommate NOW so I can find one by spring. I’ve asked around, but I don’t know anyone who needs a place.
I posted on the university’s housing message board, and so far I have received two responses:
1. One girl responded who is four years younger...
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I feel like I could go to sleep now
and sleep until tomorrow. It’s 7:33 p.m.
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“wtf — is it made of babies? baby bones? ivory baby bone watch.”
– Jenna, in response to the $33,000 watch I want from Overstock
My roommate likes to play this video game
I think it’s “Call of Duty?” I’m not sure. I just hear it from the other room.
There’s this one voice that periodically says, “IT’S THE KILLLLLLLL!” and it sounds JUST LIKE A BASILISK!!!
I didn’t know Call of Duty characters spoke in Parceltongue!! But, what do I know about video games?
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Is it sad that
I am only opening this bottle of wine so my walk to the bar later won’t feel as cold?
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kelsium:
Getting snowed in is kind of no fun when there’s no one to join you and bring the margarita mix.
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Right now
I am mostly just stressed about my Facebook Scrabble games.
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Dilemma.
I signed up for a Race Relations class as my semester elective with a professor I’ve heard great things about. I made sure to sign up for the graduate section because it was on the list of acceptable classes for my program.
BUT, when I went to the class this morning, I found out that it’s an undergraduate section of 50 students with two or three other graduate students enrolled. I...
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Booooo.
I guess I haven’t memorized my work schedule for this semester as well as I thought I had — this entire day I thought I would be leaving at 2 p.m., double checked, and realized I am not leaving until 3 p.m.
I thought I was on the last ten minute stretch :(
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Zero to supermodel in just four months
As I was walking to the coffee shop one block from my house this evening bundled up like the little brother in A Christmas Story in my fluorescent yellow non-fashionable coat, a man yelled the following to me from his car:
“HEY SUPERMODEL — wanna come home with me tonight???”
I am not writing this to brag, but rather, I am writing this to allure you to move here. Women: if...
Whew. Fixed it.
I really can’t decide if I’m looking forward to going back to school and work so I have something to do with my life, or if I’d rather just continue to have endless time to watch Bones seasons two, three, four, and five.
It’s a toss up.
I was so excited to watch Netflix on the BIG TV
when my roommate brought his X Box back, but I can’t figure out how to connect to X Box Live.
Fail.
The pipes in this house
make fascinating noises, some of which I have not heard before in the natural world. One of the pipes sounds like a basketball full of lead is bouncing around in a cave several times in a row — slowly at first, then faster and faster until the ball comes to a halt for a few minutes before starting the whole process again. One other sounds like small children are clanging pie pans together at...
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To shovel, or
We had about two inches of snow on the ground before I got here last night, and it looks like we have a total of six or seven now. We’re supposed to get another five today and more snow all week.
I feel like I should shovel the driveway and sidewalk now instead of waiting until there’s a foot of snow on the ground, but another part of me thinks it would be a waste of time because...
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I always try to drink the milk from my cereal...
It always ends up on my shirt.
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